So you carefully unwrap the soap from the paper (thinking what a waste), wash your hands, and then look for somewhere to put the soap. Is there a soap dish next to the sink? Not likely. So you put it down and it keeps sliding back into the sink. Sigh.
You arrive in a poshish hotel like the one I am in now, and the bed looks all nice, with a cover on.
But then you lift the cover off, or rather drag it off because it seems like it is nailed down all the way round, and find no such thing.
There is a bolster, or whatever it is, which stretches half way down the bed. But worse, below that is a duvet; now this duvet is a very nice duvet, but for some reason I completely fail to understand, it is folded in half and placed sideways. I am not 1.17 meters tall, and I do not need to sleep under a doubled up duvet.
Just put the bed in a state so that I can sleep in it – I really don’t want to have to make my bed before I can sleep in it.
And tomorrow night I bet I will have to go through the same palaver.
I mean, why do they bother putting the bed in at all?
They are so hard that I might as well be sleeping on the floor.
What is the point of having 12 inches of mattress and only using the top half inch?
And then when you go and complain about it they sometimes have the cheek to argue with you that it is good for your back – like they should be telling me what is good for my back?
Do they think they are doctors or something?
Hard beds really do my back in, if I manage to get any sleep at all.
Am I the only one who has ever complained about it?
Because every time anything goes wrong, and things do, I get annoyed they can’t get it right.
If I am paying half the price then I expect things to be less than perfect, but when it is £100 a night, I don’t expect the automatic wake-up call to be 7 minutes late, and the call lift button not to work, and the toilet seat to be as sharp as a craft knife on my bum, and the toilet cover to bang down when I flush, and £5 an hour or £10 a day for internet is outrageous, and seven television channels is pathetic, they could at least have Freeview, and I expect enough white sugar for two cups of coffee, not just one and even some biscuits or shortbread would be reasonable, and there is a huge hum coming from the ventilation in the bathroom.
And that was just this morning.